Come to Alaska, and you'll see awesome wildlife, eat free range red meat and the freshest seafood ever. You'll dog team and climb the largest Mountain the America, you'll ski and boat, and snowmachine. If you're lucky you can catch an Eskimo dance at the Bingo hall and eat at the potluck. Maybe you'll wear mukluks and learn to make an atikluk.
If you stay for a year, you'll even get PAID TO LIVE HERE! The Permanent Fund Dividend's came out today (well for those of us who are PROACTIVE, and signed up for Direct Deposit) and people are buzzing about what they'll do wtih theirs.
$1,305.00 for each resident. I know some people with eight kids. That's thirteen THOUSAND dollars in one day. Last year we got $3,200.00 per person. This year, we sort of got ripped off thanks to the recession. Come on people, buy more stuff, so we Alaskans can get more money!
I hear all kinds of people talking about what they're dong with theirs. And you know what, they're all pretty much responsible and no-fun sort of things. You know that game, "BULL$HIT?" Well, I'm calling it right now.
Here's my list to choose from:
1. Pay off your Alaska Airlines Credit card, so you can max it out at Christmas.
2. Pay your sister back for all the MONEY you borrowed this past year.
3. Put a downpayment on a house. (2% is nothing when you have eight kids right!?)
4. Buy the coolest snow-go (snow machine) in town. You know, the $10,000 one you'll probably wreck trying to be cool and fast.
5. Buy a new pair of glasses cause your mom's/dad's/sisters aren't working too well for you right now.
6. Get Stove Oil. ($1,300 might last you a MONTH)
7. Waste it at Bingo tonight. Heck, it was free anyway.
8. Buy yourself a ring cause that SOB won't get you one.
9. Buy yourself a tool/flatscreen/PS3 cause your witch wife won't get you one.
10. Donate it to charity/church/ME.
11. Invest it in a college fund for your kids who might not go to college.
12. Go to ANCHORAGE and spend it at Wal-mart.
13. Open a coffee shop.
14. Go to Disneyland/Mall of America/Hawaii/visit the family who don't like you.
15. Fix up your beat up old truck/car enough to run for the winter. Hey it has heat and it runs right?
16. What dividend? Child support/Taxes/Lawyer fees/State of AK took it from you.
There you go folks. Can't knock the truth people!
Me? I think I really WILL spend mine at Disneyland!