4 weeks until I'm under a DIRTY TREE.

T minus four weeks from yesterday I'll turn Thirty Three. Yikes. 33. The big THREE-THREE. Call me crazy, but I don't feel thirty three. I feel thirty one. haha. Just kidding. One of my younger cousins wrote a note to her best friend a while back, it said, "Dear XXX, you are my best friend. We will be best friends FOREVER, even when we're thirty."

Thanks for making me feel old yo. OK, so, since its four weeks until my birthday, I wanted to 1, remind those of you who want to get me a gift that shipping takes a while to get to Kotz. and 2, show you a list I made a while back, entitled:

THIRTY THINGS TO DO WHILE I'M THIRTY.

Let's see how I did:

Sitting here on the dark side of 30, I've been looking back fondly on my wild and woolly youth -- though some might describe it as mild and cottony. Anyway, I thought I would share some of my observations (and opinions) on important things to accomplish while I'm 30.

Since my 30th year is coming to an end, and April is the last month I can do what was on my list. I think I'm going to fail miserably at some items, but succeeded with great gusto at most. Here was my list of 30 things to do while I was 30. (I did it a few years ago)

1 - Cut my hair (I know, I know seems strange, but it was half past a monkey's ass [mine] and Locks for Love needs 10 inches to donate...awe) - DONE! and I hate it. (Did it again, suckier than ever, but I will say...I did Donate again!)

2 - Drive a wicked cool car/truck/whatever - DONE. I had to rent it, but still, it was cool...for ME! Life's a journey, enjoy the ride. The best I did was driving a rental convertible from Miami to the Florida Key's. I ended up with sunburn on HALF my body, but hey, I was riding in style! (I think I still have sunburn scars...)

3 - Live in a cool place - DONE! Can't get any COOLER than Kotzebue! (Yeah, K-town, happens to be 20 below with a 10 mph wind, making it FORTY ONE BELOW ZERO! See, cool!)

4 - Sing Karaoke like I'm Lee Ann Rhimes! DONE - I was not exactly sober, but I thought I sounded GREAT. Record Deal anyone?! (Does singing on the Radio or at funerals count?)

5 - Have a threesome -Fail -Yeah, getting married and having a boyfriend kind of stumps that one, but hey, it was a fantasy list right?! Oh, and I have about six more weeks to go! (Hmm, no comment...I must have been in one of those moods!)

6 - Drive in Napa Valley and taste the wines - DONE! - very nice, managed to go to ONE winery, when the person I was with was her OWN whinery... she was more interested in the shopping outlets. (I'm adding this to my 33 list...)

7 - Go to a concert - fail - Sorry, haven't managed to do this yet. Ugh. (Wait, I take it back, I did too! Elton John with Koy Boy!)

8 - Dye my hair blond- Fail - Ugh, another failure. I tried to put low lights in it, but was a little allergic to the dye...so yeah, this probably won't happen. Thank God for my Au natural highlights courtesy of the sun every Arctic summer. (Oh well, I'll never be that buxom blond I've always wanted to be...)

9 - Ski to Sisualik - fail - although I've done this before, I haven't done it this YEAR. I still have a little while to do it. Thanks to my new dog harness and long lead, I think I can get Nugent to do most of the work for me! :) I just need to get Dean to go before me to warm up the house. Brrrr. (Nix on that one. Sheesh. I drive there every weekend with a sledload of kids and food!)

10 - Learn to fly - fail - I just can't get over that fear. I just can't trust an airplane. Not even my own. I can't even trust my husband when he's flying with me. Ugh. I'm going to have to work on this. (Nope...not done yet. Probably not gonna happen, sorry Honey)

11 - Make amends with an old friend/enemy- Done. Did it. Felt good. Going to heaven. (I'm still going to heaven. Actually I think in the midst of all these divorces and custody battles, I should go to heaven for not doing anything to the Exes!)

12 - Belong to a wine of the month club - Done - LOVE IT! Although when we find ones I like, its a bit tough to find them in any liquor store in Alaska! I'll enjoy them while I can. Oh, by the way, the UPS guy delivers them to me. He is required to ask, "are you sober?" because on the packaging it states, "Do NOT deliver to intoxicated person." HA. (I still love my wine clubs. But I think I belong to a WHINE club too. Psh)

13 - Go back to Finland - fail - I had really hoped that I could do this and a honeymoon all in one fell swoop. Since I didn't take ANY time off for a honeymoon, I didn't get back to Finland. But I visit frequently via internet! Kiitos! (Nope. No honeymoon still either. Maybe I could learn to fly in Napa Valley with my husband, knock three off in one setting!)

14 - Earn a lot of money, give some of it away - DONE - between my families disposition regarding budgeting and my weakness for puppy dog eyes, I have managed to make a comfortable amount of money and give lots of it away. (pat on the back) (Someone needs to give ME some money cause all that charity has left me dried out. My wallet yearns for some money!)

15 - Record my grandmother's oral stories - Partially done. - My Finnish grandmother gave me a family history book, so I have that. She did all the work for me. Kiitos Isoaitti! But I am yet to record my Aahna's history. One I believe is most important, because with the passing of our elders dies the rich Inupiaq history. Ok I'll shut up now. I'll do it next month! (Well, I have them in my head, does that count?)

16 - Go on a VACATION - FAIL!!! - Yes, I had to WRITE IT IN, and I still failed. I have to say that when I GOT MARRIED, I only took one day off. Ugh...so, again, I'll have to go on a vacation someday soon. :) (Uh, sorta. Dean and I managed to get to Hawaii for TWO days, and we took the kids to Ketchikan, but that was for a memorial, so I'd say, its PARTIAL!)

17 - Race a family dog team - Fail. - I am sorry to say that most of my plans are failures. Maybe I should have done a "top 10 things to do while I'm 30." OK...so my aunt and uncle race dogs all the time. Maybe someday when I have time, I'll go help them train them. My kids race every year. Maybe I could live vicariously though them? (How about if my dog raced the Dog catcher and won???)

18 - Learn to speak Inupiaq or Finnish (either one) - Fail...both. - I'm getting depressed at how miserably I'm failing. OK. So I have the Rosetta Stone for both languages. I can count and know some cuss words in Finnish. I understand a bit of Inupiaq and can pass the Rosetta Stone Language CD-ROM's without fail, but I still don't know the language. Sorry ancestors. (Man, I am such a failure. Holy Cow. Dangit!)

19 - Have my last baby - FAIL. - sad. that is me...sad. Oh well, I married the guy right!? (Hmm...My baby is having a baby, does that count? P.S. she's not my biological baby!)

20 - Buy a house - DONE! - Whew, I was beginning to think I had failed everything. I did buy a house! A nice one at that! (Yep, still got it, although its sort of a money pit! But its MY money pit!)

21 - Open a business - DONE! - YES...two for like twenty! Katak's Bed & Breakfast is located in Kotzebue if you're interested!!! (Still open. Still trying to open another one!)

22 - Buy something really expensive for myself - Fail?- Does a house count? I also got a ring...but didn't really buy that. Uh...how about a snowmachine...again, that wasn't for ME. Hmm...I guess my new stove and refrigerator wouldn't count either. I guess I failed this one. Maybe a coach purse IS a good idea! :) (Nope still haven't done that yet.)

23 - Get myself published in something other than the Arctic Sounder - Done - since I write for the Hunter. I also had stories picked up by the AP and they raced all over AK and the "lower 48" about uugruk hunting. Yay me. Shoot, even Koy was published when he wrote an article for the Sounder about Selling popcorn for Cub Scouts! (Still being published all over, whoop whoop.)

24 - Run/Walk/Bike/Hike/Row, etc for Charity. - Done - Thanks to the Miluk runners, a team mainly from Kotz participated in the Alaska Run for Women. We raised a bit of money for the cause. I'd actually really like to DEVELOP a run/walk/bike/row, etc for IFOPA. A baby here has FOP, so we could use that excuse to plan a party! Sounds like a great idea. It'll be on my list of "31 things to do when I'm 31!" (Yep, still doing this too, although I have a web-friend who does it all the time and raises like hundreds of thousands of dollars. She's my hero.)

25 - Hire someone to clean my house. - Fail. - I WISH. I pay a LOT if anyone knows of anyone! (Well, I didn't hire anyone, but magically, my house was clean when I was sick and helpless! Maybe I should be sick and helpless some more!)

26 - Get a painting professionally framed. - Fail - Geez my MOM beat me to this. my dad gets her cross stitching professionally framed for her. Man. Sad. (Does it count if its hanging at other people's houses?)

27 - Volunteer for a day somewhere needed - DONE - WHEW! That was hard. I was at Nikaitchuat for ONE day (Halloween) and it was TOUGH. I went home at 3 and promptly fell asleep from all the hard work I did. I don't know how the teachers do it. Thank God for them. (Still volunteering away! Still going to heaven!)

28 - Take college classes - Fail - WITH WHAT TIME?! I feel like I already know this crap anyway! haha... (Psh, again, I reiterate...with what time??!)

29 - Spend at least one month at camp. - Fail. - Dangit. I am going to have to take some time off this summer. (Every weekend winter and summer though, DOH, SO CLOSE!)

30 - REMEMBER Everyone's Birthday and send them a card - Fail. - Crap, once again, a failure. Sorry everyone. (I facebook them now, thank you Facebook!)

Thus ends my illustrious list. As you can see. I am quite a failure. Maybe that's why I stopped going to college. Oh well. I still love my job!