Monday, October 27, 2008

What's in a name?

So, yeah... I went to my ver un-favorite restaurant this weekend with my sister and the load of kids we decided to take care of on Saturday. Ugh, what can I say? It was pleasantly disappointing. Wait, what am I saying? You can only be disappointed if you're expecting something wonderful...or even mundane. So, I guess it was exactly what I was waiting for.

Don't ask me why we continue to go to this restaurant. I mean, seriously...it'll be the worst date you never had! ha.

If you don't know me, I am a foodie. I mean, aside from my kids, family and work, food is the next on my list. Hence the extra large jeans and shirts I've been toting around over all this extra padding come time for winter.

If you've never been a big watcher of cooking shows and your grasp of the food world is a little hazy. Then this place is for you. We have exactly two restaurants to choose from, and if you're not from round here, they're easy to find...they're next door to each other. Hmm, do I want chinese, or chinese with a dot of american?

People. Cooking is not hard to do. Please don't serve me reheated mongolian beef and fried rice. Just make some new stuff. When has chicken chow mein taken two minutes to make and chicken nuggets taken fifteen? Oh, and seriously, take some customer service classes. Here's a converstation I had:

Me (poor unsuspecting customer): Hi, Uhm, this really doesn't taste right. its cold in the middle and hot on the outside...and its really creamy. Mongolian beef isn't creamy.
Server: NO YOU EAT MONGOLIAN BEEF I COOK!
Me: Uhm, no thanks. Can I just get a BLT?
her: NO YOU EAT.
me: NO! I don't want this. it tastes awful, just bring me some water then or soemthing!
her: NO YOU EAT IT. YOU PAY FOR IT. YOU NO COME HERE AND COMPRAIN!
me: compRain? you mean Complain?! Can you just bring me a BLT?
her: I NO BLING YOU BE-ER-TEE, you eat Mongorian beef!
me: I am NOT EATING THIS. UGH. Nevermind, I don't want anything.
her: YOU PAY. YOU TAKE BITE, THAT MEAN YOU PAY.

Yeah, that was an over exaggeration, but still, that is what we deal with every time we go to the-restaurant-that-shall-remain-unnamed. But it rhymes with Shnayshnide.

Hurry up Elsa and get your degree so I can quit my job and offer everyone here what they deserve. A nice hot HOMECOOKED meal for a reasonable price...reasonable enough to keep us profitable and reasonable enough not to break the bank when you and your hubby and kids want to go out for a nice dinner and you only make $15 an hour.

SO...what, you ask, would we serve?! Here's my idea... ANYTHING is better than what we've got! ha...not to say we won't dazzle all you qikiqtagrugmiuts with our culinary style and expertise. Here is a mock up of what we'd do...

mock menu

P.S. the restaurant is called Katak's in my dreams! (Named for my grandmother...oh and me!)

Open for lunch and dinner only, with espresso and homebaked scones, muffins and the sort for breakfast goers, we'll offer contemporary mixed with traditional Northern Alaska fare: Grilled Caribou with Feta and Rosemary, Roast Beef Sandwiches with cole slaw, Wild Ptarmigan Casserole.

Don't forget! If anyone wants to donate to the Katak's business, please send your check or money order to... ME! PO Box 1350, Kotzebue, AK 99752.

Since this is a two to three year dream, those of you who eat regularly at the-restaurant-that-shall-remain-unnamed maybe need to meditate and get a hold of that inner chef and learn your way around a kitchen. Especially now that its the holiday season...

You may be just in time for that big bird.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Funny dialogue :-) I like the idea of your restaurant.

I thought there were 4 sit down restaurants in Kotzebue. I also thought the Bayside offered Chinese and Korean made by Koreans.