Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Mad Mats

It’s do or die. The dog pees on it. You walk all over it. You spill wine on it. Your puppies crap on it. And dust bunnies love it. Not to mention all that awesome filth that flies through the air during a Kotzebue Summer and lands smack dab on it.

Your rug has every reason to be mad. But, not as mad as ME.

When we moved into our house (our grand ole house, which happens to be my third grade classroom, I'd like to give a shout-out to Mrs. Hogan, Whats up Mrs. Hogan!) that tannish dirt colored rug was all I had to worry about. Oh was I mistaken. If you've been to my house, you will see the awesome plethora of rugs in which you may choose to run your tootsies through.

One: Tan flavored dirty skin colored living room rug
Two: Hard as concrete, industrial blue in Kaisa's room
Three: Crusty light blue circa 1980 shag in Koy's room
Four: Plastic Smelling, brand new from the roll at KIC, blue "plush" on the stairs
Five: Even harder, industrial leftover from a construction job blue in the B&B
Six: Don't know what flavor, bland gray=blue walked all over, dusty in my bedroom

As you can see, we were pegged the Rug people for a reason. I know contractors use the leftovers, but seriously, just because they're all blue doesn't mean they match! SO...we're looking for a new rug! One color to replace everything. Possibly some fake hardwood flooring from Lowes in the kids rooms, but really, we need a new rug in the living room.

If my rug had feelings, it would hate me. Or, strike that, it would hate my puppies! (Not that I LOVE them right now) The last time I was out of town, the
little preciouses decided to have a party, and I wasn't invited. They crapped everywhere, and thre the garbage around like no one's business. Everything that could stain the rug was tossed on the rug. So, if you're ever in need of a sensory experience, come on over and sniff our rug. You'll smell wine, BBQ sauce, rotten food, some ketchup and most importantly, dog doo. As you can see. My rug and me, we've had it. We're ready to part ways and send him on to the rug heaven in the sky. Any rug that has gone through that much anguish, and THREE dogs being housetrained deserves nothing better then to be rolled up and laid to rest somewhere at camp.

In closing, someone tell me where I can get some rug help...oh, and enjoy my puppy picture. :) This is Shockey, number one pooper.



Cathy said...

I hate puppies, they suck. They are no good for nothing until they are potty trained.

Anonymous said...

Is that Mrs. Hogan from Kentucky?

Finnskimo said...

I don't know...its Mrs. Hogan from Kotzebue who still lives here too! :)

Anonymous said...

I went to Kotzebue elementary in the late 70's and a lady named Mrs Hogan was my 3rd grade teacher - I was wondering if it was the same lady. She was my favorite teacher.