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Tuesday, November 25, 2008


1. I’m thankful that during my first Thanksgiving, I was the one who carved the turkey only to discover the neck and giblets are steaming inside! That means that I tried, laughed, learned and ate! My husband and I continue to experiment with food! Last year, we brined our turkey with some really stinky vinegar, salt, sugar, brine…we thought it would never turn out. It was the best turkey I’ve ever eaten! Plus, I make a mean Butternut Squash Casserole!

2. I’m thankful that I have to clean up permanent marker from the walls, continually "remind" kids to do chores, pay for new clothes, attend sports events and cook for seven every single nigh, because that means I have a large family with children running every which way.

3. I'm thankful that I have to wash dirty underwear, dirty jeans, sticky jackets and stinky socks, because that means I have a washing machine and dryer that work.

4. I'm thankful that I have to pick up dog poop, clean up dog pee, buy dog food, and take two dogs for walks, because that means I have two awesome (supercute) dogs for protection and companionship...and YES, my big dog sleeps with me.

5. I'm thankful that we have to pay for heat for my home, pay $500 for electricity per month, pay for a phone and internet connection and pay for a mortgage, because that means I have a home to live and grow old in.

6. I'm thankful that we have to spend $150 to fill up my car, and (today) call my friends to come jump me because that means I have a vehicle that (usually) works to bring me to work and shuttle kids around town.

7. I’m thankful that I get “bumped” off Alaska Airlines flights, because that mean’s I get to fly and shop in Anchorage so as not pay ten bucks for a gallon of milk in Kotzebue, and so I can bring my daughter to the Nutcracker Ballet for just the price of the tickets.

8. I’m thankful for all my crazy relatives, because that means I have a LOT of relatives and crazy people love more and harder then “normal” people! Seriously, we do.

9. I'm thankful that I don't get a full night's sleep, I have to clean dirty bathrooms, and sometimes my floor and snowpants are bloody, because that mean's I have a (wonderful) husband who sleeps next to me, snoring, who sometimes misses the mark on the pot, and kills a lot of subsistence animals so we can eat the traditional food we've always eaten!

10. I’m thankful for the extra “padding” I have on my body, because that mean’s I am eating well (VERY well!). And I’ll be eating really well on Thanksgiving when I celebrate with my parents, husband, children and various family! I can’t wait.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Ham for Thanksgiving!

I know you're supposed to use Thanksgiving to give thanks for your family and friends...this year I'll share with you, the list of stuff you don't want to hear on Thanksgiving...

Ham on Thanksgiving:

1. I love moist turkey. Too bad your turkey came out so dry and tasteless.
2. I haven't seen mashed potatoes this lumpy since the time I had them at the Church potluck.
3. That was the best stuffing that I have ever had. What's that? I'm sorry. I didn't realize that it was Nugent's dog food.
4. Why are those cranberries crawling on the table? Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize that they came from Hanson's and their laced with worms.
5. I never knew that you could put broccoli and cauliflower in lime Jell-o.
6. Your home is the perfect handyman's special. When do you plan to do a complete makeover?
7. Your couch is nice and comfortable. By the way, is this a pee stain?
8. Hey Honey, I think we're going to need a skill saw to cut this pumpkin pie.
9. Hey Uncle Homer, quit putting your nose up the turkey. It's so gross.
10. I've never used paper plates before for Thanksgiving. I've got to admit that you're very original and cheap.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dear Mr. President,

Proud to Vote

I would like to congratulate you, President Elect Barack Obama, and VP Biden as well on your win. Although I am looking forward to your promises of keeping our Native American (Alaska Native) rights and issues on the front burner, I was ultimately disappointed that you did not wait until the polls closed throughout the United States to deliver your (very, very well written and well spoken) acceptance speech.

Prior to our 8:00 p.m. poll close, in 5 degree weather, 30 miles above the Arctic Circle, my uncle Grover, a War veteran who wears a prosthetic leg, went into the Northwest Arctic Borough Assembly Room, to vote for the next president of the United States of America, that same America he protected while serving in the US Navy as a young man, and his vote did not count.

Grover and Arigagiaq
Grover in 1952, when Alaska was just a territory

During that same time President Obama, you were well on your way through an acceptance speech in Chicago, coincidentally speaking about a 106 year old who cast her vote, and the importance it is, as an American Citizen, and especially as a minority to vote so our voices are heard, when my uncle was voting for you. I find that ultimately disrespectful as a person, and as someone who says he is a harbor for Change.

I fully understand the Electoral College, but for the sake of NOT being hypocritical, the least you could have done, Mr. President, was waited until the polls closed in all of America before you started accepting the presidency. Not only that, you have veterans, mothers, fathers, grandparents, and people ready for a change voting for you all the way up here, above the Arctic Circle, where our only neighbors are the three thousand caribou four miles out of town, and the only way in or out is via a 747 passenger jet for six hundred bucks. Our suburbs consist of barren tundra and frozen lakes, rivers and oceans. We commute to and from work in everything from a boat in the summer, to bush planes, snowmachines and 4 wheeled ATV’s in the winter.

Caribou on front
When I look out my window at the Post Office, this is what I see

I won’t say if I voted for you President Obama, or Senator McCain, but I will say that with Governor Sarah Palin as the VP candidate for the Republican party, Alaska was finally looked at as more than just a cold state full of Eskimo’s and oil. We do have oil, we have natural gas, and we have natural resources vital to America. Possibly, we, in Alaska, need to state to the oil companies, “I’m sorry, we don’t ship outside ALASKA.” But, we are a part of a union, one created for the people, by the people and of the people, our One Nation under God.

We want to share our resources with you; we want to be a part of your Change. We need to be a part of this change! We need this change more than anyone else. You see, my gas costs me $7.30 per gallon and my heating oil costs me $6.36 per gallon. I have no trees I can cut down to heat my home, so, its imperative for me and my family that you keeps your promise, and you understand that we, even way up here above the Arctic Circle, are still a part of the United States. Our Alaskan soldiers are fighting an American war, our oil is being refined in California, our Copper River Salmon is being eaten all over, and our ANWR is being fought over in D.C.

Again, congratulations President Elect Barack Obama and VP Joe Biden. Please keep ALL American’s in mind, especially those who pay the highest energy prices in your nation.

Quyaana, Taikuu Nalagniluqtusi! Thank you for your time...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Kidney for sale...

I have a kidney for sale. I wanted to save it for my sister, who may need it with her IGA nethropathy, but she'll just have to be put on the back burner. Plus she owes me money, so that plays a large factor as well.

Anyway, so, this kidney, its normal sized, only used for thirty one years. Does really well in its current conditions. I have insulated it with the worlds best insulation, and I have actually over insulated it, seeing as though there is probably about fifteen pounds of the stuff right near where the kidney lies. It performs well, there has been no abuse to it, it only has to flush out certain toxins, and really I've only asked it to work extra hard probably ten or so times in its lifetime. I believe it has the potential to last its new owner another sixty years, providing the new owner takes as good of care as I did. The only thing is that we'll have to harvest it. Its ready now, available within 24 hours of payment, providing there is a surgeon who is able to perform the operation. Contact me if you're interested.

Oh, so here is a picture of why we need to sell, sell, sell...other than that the stock market is crashing and Auntie Fannie and Uncle Freddie are in a crisis...

gas rape smaller

P.S. my gas tank actually holds over 18 gallons of gas. I try to spend less then $150 when I purchase gas. I really had an empty tank, so it cost me $152.59...

Friday, October 31, 2008

Freaky Friday!

YAY, its Halloween! YAY, its Friday! YAY, I found a costume. Or, scratch that, I made a costume! So for those of you who are too "cool" (read:lame) to dress up, you're not fooling anyone with that potato sack/pillowcase combo treat case, or your bed sheet/ghost costume! Live a little, get creative! Even up here in the frigid arctic we still have T-minus four hours and you’re still waffling on the costume front (French maid or Jehovah’s Witness?). Just remember that this isn't the Lion's Club Dance! Its a place of happy, blissful employment, so dress accordingly! (There’s so much cleavage in this room, I’m getting the boo-bies.) Here are a few vocabulary words we came across...

candy rapper(n). The smooth-talking little kid who “trades” with all the other kids for the best loot.

costomb(n). The overcoat you inevitably have to wear every year, which totally kills your costume.

monster mesh (n). The effect of too-tight fishnets.

tramplify(v). When you decide to go as yourself, only sluttier.

vampire weekend(n). The massive 48-hour hangover that comes from attending too many Halloween parties.

veepie crawler(n). One of the hundreds of Sarah Palin/Tina Fey costumes you’ll spot this year.

wee-atch(n). That ho who copied your cool costume.

wicked witch(n). Just a regular witch. Including those who you work with...

Yah, Vote for me!
I'm number one

Can I smile any bigger? Probably not...
Scary Mary
Photos courtesy of she has even better ones, check them out!

Happy Halloween everyone and good luck with the kiddos tonight. Me (I'm a Fortune Teller for work, made that too), Kaisa (logger) and Clara (Alice in Wonderland) will be at the Halloween Carnival spending way too much money on crappy junk! Yay.

Monday, October 27, 2008

What's in a name?

So, yeah... I went to my ver un-favorite restaurant this weekend with my sister and the load of kids we decided to take care of on Saturday. Ugh, what can I say? It was pleasantly disappointing. Wait, what am I saying? You can only be disappointed if you're expecting something wonderful...or even mundane. So, I guess it was exactly what I was waiting for.

Don't ask me why we continue to go to this restaurant. I mean,'ll be the worst date you never had! ha.

If you don't know me, I am a foodie. I mean, aside from my kids, family and work, food is the next on my list. Hence the extra large jeans and shirts I've been toting around over all this extra padding come time for winter.

If you've never been a big watcher of cooking shows and your grasp of the food world is a little hazy. Then this place is for you. We have exactly two restaurants to choose from, and if you're not from round here, they're easy to find...they're next door to each other. Hmm, do I want chinese, or chinese with a dot of american?

People. Cooking is not hard to do. Please don't serve me reheated mongolian beef and fried rice. Just make some new stuff. When has chicken chow mein taken two minutes to make and chicken nuggets taken fifteen? Oh, and seriously, take some customer service classes. Here's a converstation I had:

Me (poor unsuspecting customer): Hi, Uhm, this really doesn't taste right. its cold in the middle and hot on the outside...and its really creamy. Mongolian beef isn't creamy.
Me: Uhm, no thanks. Can I just get a BLT?
her: NO YOU EAT.
me: NO! I don't want this. it tastes awful, just bring me some water then or soemthing!
me: compRain? you mean Complain?! Can you just bring me a BLT?
her: I NO BLING YOU BE-ER-TEE, you eat Mongorian beef!
me: I am NOT EATING THIS. UGH. Nevermind, I don't want anything.

Yeah, that was an over exaggeration, but still, that is what we deal with every time we go to the-restaurant-that-shall-remain-unnamed. But it rhymes with Shnayshnide.

Hurry up Elsa and get your degree so I can quit my job and offer everyone here what they deserve. A nice hot HOMECOOKED meal for a reasonable price...reasonable enough to keep us profitable and reasonable enough not to break the bank when you and your hubby and kids want to go out for a nice dinner and you only make $15 an hour.

SO...what, you ask, would we serve?! Here's my idea... ANYTHING is better than what we've got! ha...not to say we won't dazzle all you qikiqtagrugmiuts with our culinary style and expertise. Here is a mock up of what we'd do...

mock menu

P.S. the restaurant is called Katak's in my dreams! (Named for my grandmother...oh and me!)

Open for lunch and dinner only, with espresso and homebaked scones, muffins and the sort for breakfast goers, we'll offer contemporary mixed with traditional Northern Alaska fare: Grilled Caribou with Feta and Rosemary, Roast Beef Sandwiches with cole slaw, Wild Ptarmigan Casserole.

Don't forget! If anyone wants to donate to the Katak's business, please send your check or money order to... ME! PO Box 1350, Kotzebue, AK 99752.

Since this is a two to three year dream, those of you who eat regularly at the-restaurant-that-shall-remain-unnamed maybe need to meditate and get a hold of that inner chef and learn your way around a kitchen. Especially now that its the holiday season...

You may be just in time for that big bird.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Clara and Kaisa with their celebrity from the mattress ranch!

kaisa and Clara Mattress Ranch

Mad Mats

It’s do or die. The dog pees on it. You walk all over it. You spill wine on it. Your puppies crap on it. And dust bunnies love it. Not to mention all that awesome filth that flies through the air during a Kotzebue Summer and lands smack dab on it.

Your rug has every reason to be mad. But, not as mad as ME.

When we moved into our house (our grand ole house, which happens to be my third grade classroom, I'd like to give a shout-out to Mrs. Hogan, Whats up Mrs. Hogan!) that tannish dirt colored rug was all I had to worry about. Oh was I mistaken. If you've been to my house, you will see the awesome plethora of rugs in which you may choose to run your tootsies through.

One: Tan flavored dirty skin colored living room rug
Two: Hard as concrete, industrial blue in Kaisa's room
Three: Crusty light blue circa 1980 shag in Koy's room
Four: Plastic Smelling, brand new from the roll at KIC, blue "plush" on the stairs
Five: Even harder, industrial leftover from a construction job blue in the B&B
Six: Don't know what flavor, bland gray=blue walked all over, dusty in my bedroom

As you can see, we were pegged the Rug people for a reason. I know contractors use the leftovers, but seriously, just because they're all blue doesn't mean they match! SO...we're looking for a new rug! One color to replace everything. Possibly some fake hardwood flooring from Lowes in the kids rooms, but really, we need a new rug in the living room.

If my rug had feelings, it would hate me. Or, strike that, it would hate my puppies! (Not that I LOVE them right now) The last time I was out of town, the
little preciouses decided to have a party, and I wasn't invited. They crapped everywhere, and thre the garbage around like no one's business. Everything that could stain the rug was tossed on the rug. So, if you're ever in need of a sensory experience, come on over and sniff our rug. You'll smell wine, BBQ sauce, rotten food, some ketchup and most importantly, dog doo. As you can see. My rug and me, we've had it. We're ready to part ways and send him on to the rug heaven in the sky. Any rug that has gone through that much anguish, and THREE dogs being housetrained deserves nothing better then to be rolled up and laid to rest somewhere at camp.

In closing, someone tell me where I can get some rug help...oh, and enjoy my puppy picture. :) This is Shockey, number one pooper.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Thirsty Thursday...

Yo ho ho and a bottle of WINE! Yay, its Thirsty Thursday and am I in for a treat! My husband (worlds best) came back from Seattle just in time to contribute to my deliquencies of drinking a fine red wine while watching Grey’s Anatomy on the boob tube.

I knew, just KNEW it was time to enjoy myself. I’ve been a yucky mess the past couple of days, and OH, was my body telling me something? I don’t know, but I can tell you this, my headache went away just thinking of uncorking that smooth red velvety Markham Merlot (2006). I assure you it was not the daring dose of two gulps of cherry Nyquil and four Advil Liqui-Gels that made my headache go away, it was thinking of that wine!

My palette is just itching to get some. My body is going through withdrawals not watching Grey’s for two weeks straight. Thank GOD for iTunes!

Well folks, its harvest time. The rolling hills, green pastures and rows of grapevines blend with ancient castles for the ultimate French country wine. The sweet smell of fermentation awaits, its aroma will permeate my entire living room. (Not to mention mask the stank of two puppies TRYING to be housetrained)

Wine with Paulette

Paulette and I love wine. I love Red, she loves White. We’re different but alike. I love my friend Paulette! Here is our wine from a recent trip together.

Why? You ask, why do I write about wine?! OK, so this morning, I had to drag my lifeless body out of bed, clean up the puppies, take the kids to school and go to work. Well, when I opened up my emails, I had FIVE, count `em, FIVE emails about wine. “Maija, you’ll LOVE our newest Merlot!” from, Bed, Bath and Beyond sends me their love in a discounted wine cabinet. Then a few more ubiquitous emails from my friends reminding me of the weekly evening festivities, wine and Grey’s. Man I love my friends. OK, lastly I write about wine, because it’s a little difficult to get wine here in Kotzebue. I belong to two wine clubs, Vinesse and Wine Styles in Anchorage. Winestyles I have to pick up in Anchorage, but because I pick it up, I often end up getting four extra bottles of mellow and silky for my drinking pleasures.

Vinesse sends me their love monthly in the form of one white and one red wine. They send UPS, and I have to damn near take a breathalyzer test for the UPS Man to deliver my two bottle quota per month. It states specifically on the box, “Do NOT deliver to intoxicated person.” So, yeah, me and the UPS guy have an awesome relationship.

“Oh Hi, you’re home! Are you drunk?”
“No, of course not, its only three in the afternoon…”
“Oh, well sometimes I’m drunk at three in the afternoon.”
“Well not me, where do I sign.”
“Are you sure your not drunk?”
“Can I smell your breath?”
“No. Just give me my box!”

I’ll drink to that!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Stuff White People Like

Seeing as though I'm exactly 50% white, I consider myself white when its convenient. So, I was searching the ominous internet last night and found this site...
Are you tired of wondering what to bring to that dinner party?*
Or which Broadway show*
to take your friend from Seattle*
to? Desperate for a blog*
with answers to these questions?

Well, search no more, friends. Introducing: Stuff White People Like.
Stuff White People Like is the only website devoted entirely to stuff that white people like!

Enjoy educational articles* on items such as coffee,* expensive sandwiches,* dogs,* and ’80s nights.*

Each entry includes a brief description of the item and why white people love it so much.
You’ll also gain insight into the behaviors of white people — for example, their fondness for difficult breakups: “Prior to engaging in divorce, most white people train for it by engaging in a series of long term relationships that end very poorly.”

With inside info like this, it’s hard not to like the site — especially if you’re a white person.*
(*White people love all these things and footnotes.)

Available online at

Cool. After lollygagging through it, I've somewhat decided that I really DO like a lot of the stuff in there. I guess since I'm white, I technically fit into that category. But, what about people who aren't white who fit into that category?! What, dare say, do we do with them?! Where can THEY go to find out about things they like?!

I think my next blog startup will be called, "Stuff Natives like..." And it'll include things like, Seal Intestines, R&R, Fireweed, and Honda's. Coming soon!

Here's what I dog. So, I guess that technically is part of the "white people" in me!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Bung GLOW!

I stole this from one of my past blogs...I think it was on myspace. haha...oh the memories!

So, I got this email a few months ago…I don't know why I was on the list…nor do I know what to say except just to tell you what happened…

Maija H. Lukin, GET YOURS TODAY! ..South Beach Skin Solutions Lightening Gel

I figure that something like that is for dark spots on your hands…maybe even for Fake-n-bakers who happen to have a darker spot on their body…around their fingernails, something… I was wrong. I was SO wrong...

I made the mistake of clicking on the link. (
Perfect for use on:
Both Men and Women
All Skin, Especially the Anal & Genital Areas
Breasts, Nipples, Underarms, Faces, Age Spots
Other Skin Discolorations
Absorbs Quickly and Dries Cleanly in Seconds!
No Oily or Sticky Feeling!

As more people discover bikini waxing, the more we need to pay attention to how we look once the hair is removed. South Beach Skin Solutions-- Lightening Gel for Sensitive Areas is the ultimate in safe, gentle and effective natural lightening for the anal, vaginal, breast, underarm, face and other sensitive areas. Unlike cheap drug store skin lighteners, our specially-formulated Lightening Gel for Sensitive Areas is very gentle and does not contain any potentially harmful or irritating chemicals such as Kojic Acid or Hydroquinone. Who would put that on a sensitive area!
South Beach Skin Solutions has developed a lightening Gel that is safe for your "sensitive area!"

(No I have not tried it)

This natural product will give your bunghole a "fresher, more youthful look. I didn't even know "Cheap drug store's" made genital skin lighteners. I wonder what all the Eskimo's would think…Apparently, it has come to my attention that it is not longer acceptable for your bunghole to be…well, brown. Who the heck made the determination that I needed this product in northern Alaska???

They claim you'll see results in just a few weeks…or else you can get your money back…consider it your Ace in the Hole!


AND so, lucky for you fans, I'm going to post a picture of my very own "brown eye..." Or hazel, or whatever... haha...


When Berry met Sally...

OK, after a tumultuous year, and some non-blogging by your's truely, I'm baaAAaack!

Exciting yeah? So, I won't make an excuses as to why I haven't written in a while. Lets just say that I was busy/lazy. For all you three followers who religiously read my sarcastic rants and raves about various life complications. I swear I'm going to try to be better at writing every day. I'll even include some pictures if I can figure out how to steal them off other people's sites, or get them off my camera too!

I better get to work. Here's a picture to enjoy...its Kaisa. Summer favorite!
Kaisa Reese

Monday, March 17, 2008

30 things to do while you're 30

Sitting here on the dark side of 30, I've been looking back fondly on my wild and woolly youth -- though some might describe it as mild and cottony. Anyway, I thought I would share some of my observations (and opinions) on important things to accomplish while I'm 30.

Since my 30th year is coming to an end, and April is the last month I can do what was on my list. I think I'm going to fail miserably at some items, but succeeded with great gusto at most. Here was my list of 30 things to do while I was 30. (I did it a few years ago)

1 - Cut my hair (I know, I know seems strange, but it was half past a monkey's ass [mine] and Locks for Love needs 10 inches to donate...awe) - DONE! and I hate it.

2 - Drive a wicked cool car/truck/whatever - DONE. I had to rent it, but still, it was cool...for ME! Life's a journey, enjoy the ride. The best I did was driving a rental convertable from Miami to the Florida Key's. I ended up with sunburn on HALF my body, but hey, I was riding in style!

3 - Live in a cool place - DONE! Can't get any COOLER than Kotzebue!

4 - Sing Karaoke like I'm Lee Ann Rhimes! DONE - I was not exactly sober, but I thought I sounded GREAT. Record Deal anyone?!

5 - Have a threesome -Fail -Yeah, getting married and having a boyfriend kind of stumps that one, but hey, it was a fantasy list right?! Oh, and I have about six more weeks to go!

6 - Drive in Napa Valley and taste the wines - DONE! - very nice, managed to go to ONE winery, when the person I was with was her OWN whinery... she was more interested in the shopping outlets.

7 - Go to a concert - fail - Sorry, haven't managed to do this yet. Ugh.

8 - Dye my hair blonde- Fail - Ugh, another failure. I tried to put lowlights in it, but was a little allergic to the yeah, this probably won't happen. Thank God for my au naturale highlights courtesy of the sun every Arctic summer.

9 - Ski to Sisualik - fail - although I've done this before, I haven't done it this YEAR. I still have a little while to do it. Thanks to my new dog harness and long lead, I think I can get Nugent to do most of the work for me! :) I just need to get Dean to go before me to warm up the house. Brrrr.

10 - Learn to fly - fail - I just can't get over that fear. I just can't trust an airplane. Not even my own. I can't even trust my husband when he's flying with me. Ugh. I'm going to have to work on this.

11 - Make amends with an old friend/enemy- Done. Did it. Felt good. Going to heaven.

12 - Belong to a wine of the month club - Done - LOVE IT! Although when we find ones I like, its a bit tough to find them in any liquor store in Alaska! I'll enjoy them while I can. Oh, by the way, the UPS guy delivers them to me. He is required to ask, "are you sober?" because on the packaging it states, "Do NOT deliver to intoxicated person." HA.

13 - Go back to Finland - fail - I had really hoped that I could do this and a honeymoon all in one fell swoop. Since I didn't take ANY time off for a honeymoon, I didn't get back to Finland. But I visit frequently via internet! Kiitos!

14 - Earn a lot of money, give some of it away - DONE - between my families disposition regarding budgeting and my weakness for puppy dog eyes, I have managed to make a comfortable amount of money and give lots of it away. (pat on the back)

15 - Record my grandmother's oral stories - Partially done. - My Finnish grandmother gave me a family history book, so I have that. She did all the work for me. Kiitos Isoaitti! But I am yet to record my Aahna's history. One I believe is most important, becuase with the passing of our elders dies the rich Inupiaq history. Ok I'll shut up now. I'll do it next month!

16 - Go on a VACATION - FAIL!!! - Yes, I had to WRITE IT IN, and I still failed. I have to say that when I GOT MARRIED, I only took one day off., again, I'll have to go on a vacation someday soon. :)

17 - Race a family dog team - Fail. - I am sorry to say that most of my plans are failures. Maybe I should have done a "top 10 things to do while I'm 30." my aunt and uncle race dogs all the time. Maybe someday when I have time, I'll go help them train them. My kids race every year. Maybe I could live vicariously though them?

18 - Learn to speak Inupiaq or Finnish (either one) - Fail...both. - I'm getting depressed at how miserably I'm failing. OK. So I have the Rosetta Stone for both languages. I can count and know some cuss words in Finnish. I understand a bit of Inupiaq and can pass the Rosetta Stone Language CD-ROM's without fail, but I still don't know the language. Sorry ancestors.

19 - Have my last baby - FAIL. - sad. that is me...sad. Oh well, I married the guy right!?

20 - Buy a house - DONE! - Whew, I was beginning to think I had failed everything. I did buy a house! A nice one at that!

21 - Open a business - DONE! - YES...two for like twenty! Katak's Bed & Breakfast is located in Kotzebue if you're interested!!!

22 - Buy something really expensive for myself - Fail?- Does a house count? I also got a ring...but didn't really buy that. about a snowmachine...again, that wasn't for ME. Hmm...I guess my new stove and refrigerator wouldn't count either. I guess I failed this one. Maybe a coach purse IS a good idea! :)

23 - Get myself published in something other than the Arctic Sounder - Done - since I write for the Hunter. I also had stories picked up by the AP and they raced all over AK and the "lower 48" about uugruk hunting. Yay me. Hell, even Koy was published when he wrote an article for the Sounder about Selling popcorn for Cub Scouts!

24 - Run/Walk/Bike/Hike/Row, etc for Charity. - Done - Thanks to the Miluk runners, a team mainly from Kotz participated in the Alaska Run for Women. We raised a bit of money for the cause. I'd actually really like to DEVELOP a run/walk/bike/row, etc for IFOPA. A baby here has FOP, so we could use that excuse to plan a party! Sounds like a great idea. It'll be on my list of "31 things to do when I'm 31!"

25 - Hire someone to clean my house. - Fail. - I WISH. I pay a LOT if anyone knows of anyone!

26 - Get a painting professionally framed. - Fail - Geez my MOM beat me to this. my dad gets her cross stitching professionally framed for her. Man. Sad.

27 - Volunteer for a day somewhere needed - DONE - WHEW! That was hard. I was at Nikaitchuat for ONE day (Halloween) and it was TOUGH. I went home at 3 and promptly fell asleep from all the hard work I did. I don't know how the teachers do it. Thank God for them.

28 - Take college classes - Fail - WITH WHAT TIME?! I feel like I already know this crap anyway! haha...

29 - Spend at least one month at camp. - Fail. - Dangit. I am going to have to take some time off this summer.

30 - REMEMBER EVERYONE's BIRTHDAY's and send them a card - Fail. - Crap, once again, a failure. Sorry everyone.

Thus ends my illustrious list. As you can see. I am quite a failure. Maybe that's why I stopped going to college. Oh well. I still love my job!

Over a YEAR?!

OK, ok, I've been seriously procrastinating on my writing skills! Or, lack thereof. But, then again, when you get paid to write, why do it for fun anymore?! Oh, yeah, because you can be sarcastic, and mean...if you want.

What a year it's been. I've written a few blogs at myspace, those of the humor category. If you're my friend, you can read them, if not...too bad. I have to admit, I occasionally go to my blog on myspace and re-read my own works. I laugh almost every time. I think I'm really, really funny. Maybe that's just me, but that's OK, one needs to feel good about one's self correct?!

OK...on to the mega year. Let's see, I got married. Yep, tied the knot, jumped the broom, got hitched, and all that jazz. It's been NOTHING like I experienced in the past. Dean is a wonderful person, who has some serious problems dealing with me! (kidding!!!) He has the LONGEST patience and temper that I've ever seen. Combine that with my short fuse and nonexistent patience, we make a great team. He works for an airline, which means for me... (almost) FREE flights to Anchorage for shopping. My one vice. Maybe it's because I grew up with almost nothing, but I want everything for my kids. Not myself, shyuh, why get anything for me, all I need are a few pairs of cheap jeans and some shirts with no writing on it, and I'm game. But my kids, that's another story.

I'm still in love with my house. I love my room (although its messy), I love the kitchen and living room and bar. I love the TV on the wall and the built in bookshelf for all my BOOKS. (it doesn't fit half my books, but hey, at least we tried right?)

My kids are doing wonderful. Kaisa is in the "big kids" class at Nikaitchuat. She's been singing the National Anthem at basketball games for the past few months. She does an AWESOME job. I really need to learn how to post video's. Yeah, in my spare time I'll do that. (don't expect anything anytime soon) She's taken to singing about her day, my day, and when she's mad, sad, happy, oh, you know, all the time. Here is our latest arguement:

KK - MoooooOOm, you're a LOSER.
MjL - that's not nice. I'm a winner, I'm sitting at the winner's table
KK - No you're not. You're not selfish enough to be a winner.
MjL - Selfish? You don't even know what selfish IS.
KK - HellOOOO, Self ISH. Duh. SELF Ish. get it right mom.
MjL - Get WHAT right? You don't even know what you're talking about.
KK - Yeah, right YOU dont know what I"m talking about... cause your'e a loser.
MjL - Stop saying Loser, its a bad word.
KK - NOW YOU'RE just lying to me, its not a bad word. Loser
MjL - &^%$#@! Knock it off. Don't talk to me.
KK - OK loser.

Yeah. that's how our days go. She decided that I was a loser. So, I told her that I'd give her twenty bucks if she could lick her elbow. kept her quiet for about 2 hours. :) Don't tell her that its impossible to do!

Koy's been enjoying the social aspects of middle school. He frequently comes home with report cards that say this:

"Koy is a very smart kid. But, he has a problem not talking to other kids. He doesn't study for tests, doesn't turn in homework, and needs to stop talking to his friends. It is very sad that he gets 100%'s on his tests without studying, but still has a B (or C) in class. Nothing less than a 90% should be regarded as an F! Sincerely, His teacher. Ugh. That boy. I guess when you're smart (for KOTZEBUE) you get in trouble for not doing your mundane homework that my DAUGHTER could do. He is getting introuble for not writing a paragraph every night, after reading for 30 minutes. Can I just say that if he read for ONLY 30 minutes, I might disown him. He reads almost as much as I do. What. the. heck. Anyway, I guess its to "get ready" for high school. Who cares what the high school does here, HE's not going. He'll be somewhere else. Even if I can't convince my husband to move away from Kotzebue, Koy will NOT go to high school here. Sure, he may have more opportunities for scholarships, etc. But we're taking about an education. And high school is more important than college (he's in middle school). Anyway, he's doing great and we're all one big happy family.

P.S. I am very happy that its sunny out at 8 am and still sunny at 10 pm! 24 hour daylight, here we come!