Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thankful...

1. I’m thankful that during my first Thanksgiving, I was the one who carved the turkey only to discover the neck and giblets are steaming inside! That means that I tried, laughed, learned and ate! My husband and I continue to experiment with food! Last year, we brined our turkey with some really stinky vinegar, salt, sugar, brine…we thought it would never turn out. It was the best turkey I’ve ever eaten! Plus, I make a mean Butternut Squash Casserole!

2. I’m thankful that I have to clean up permanent marker from the walls, continually "remind" kids to do chores, pay for new clothes, attend sports events and cook for seven every single nigh, because that means I have a large family with children running every which way.

3. I'm thankful that I have to wash dirty underwear, dirty jeans, sticky jackets and stinky socks, because that means I have a washing machine and dryer that work.

4. I'm thankful that I have to pick up dog poop, clean up dog pee, buy dog food, and take two dogs for walks, because that means I have two awesome (supercute) dogs for protection and companionship...and YES, my big dog sleeps with me.

5. I'm thankful that we have to pay for heat for my home, pay $500 for electricity per month, pay for a phone and internet connection and pay for a mortgage, because that means I have a home to live and grow old in.

6. I'm thankful that we have to spend $150 to fill up my car, and (today) call my friends to come jump me because that means I have a vehicle that (usually) works to bring me to work and shuttle kids around town.

7. I’m thankful that I get “bumped” off Alaska Airlines flights, because that mean’s I get to fly and shop in Anchorage so as not pay ten bucks for a gallon of milk in Kotzebue, and so I can bring my daughter to the Nutcracker Ballet for just the price of the tickets.

8. I’m thankful for all my crazy relatives, because that means I have a LOT of relatives and crazy people love more and harder then “normal” people! Seriously, we do.

9. I'm thankful that I don't get a full night's sleep, I have to clean dirty bathrooms, and sometimes my floor and snowpants are bloody, because that mean's I have a (wonderful) husband who sleeps next to me, snoring, who sometimes misses the mark on the pot, and kills a lot of subsistence animals so we can eat the traditional food we've always eaten!

10. I’m thankful for the extra “padding” I have on my body, because that mean’s I am eating well (VERY well!). And I’ll be eating really well on Thanksgiving when I celebrate with my parents, husband, children and various family! I can’t wait.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Ham for Thanksgiving!

I know you're supposed to use Thanksgiving to give thanks for your family and friends...this year I'll share with you, the list of stuff you don't want to hear on Thanksgiving...

Ham on Thanksgiving:
Hammy

1. I love moist turkey. Too bad your turkey came out so dry and tasteless.
2. I haven't seen mashed potatoes this lumpy since the time I had them at the Church potluck.
3. That was the best stuffing that I have ever had. What's that? I'm sorry. I didn't realize that it was Nugent's dog food.
4. Why are those cranberries crawling on the table? Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize that they came from Hanson's and their laced with worms.
5. I never knew that you could put broccoli and cauliflower in lime Jell-o.
6. Your home is the perfect handyman's special. When do you plan to do a complete makeover?
7. Your couch is nice and comfortable. By the way, is this a pee stain?
8. Hey Honey, I think we're going to need a skill saw to cut this pumpkin pie.
9. Hey Uncle Homer, quit putting your nose up the turkey. It's so gross.
10. I've never used paper plates before for Thanksgiving. I've got to admit that you're very original and cheap.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dear Mr. President,

Proud to Vote

I would like to congratulate you, President Elect Barack Obama, and VP Biden as well on your win. Although I am looking forward to your promises of keeping our Native American (Alaska Native) rights and issues on the front burner, I was ultimately disappointed that you did not wait until the polls closed throughout the United States to deliver your (very, very well written and well spoken) acceptance speech.

Prior to our 8:00 p.m. poll close, in 5 degree weather, 30 miles above the Arctic Circle, my uncle Grover, a War veteran who wears a prosthetic leg, went into the Northwest Arctic Borough Assembly Room, to vote for the next president of the United States of America, that same America he protected while serving in the US Navy as a young man, and his vote did not count.

Grover and Arigagiaq
Grover in 1952, when Alaska was just a territory

During that same time President Obama, you were well on your way through an acceptance speech in Chicago, coincidentally speaking about a 106 year old who cast her vote, and the importance it is, as an American Citizen, and especially as a minority to vote so our voices are heard, when my uncle was voting for you. I find that ultimately disrespectful as a person, and as someone who says he is a harbor for Change.

I fully understand the Electoral College, but for the sake of NOT being hypocritical, the least you could have done, Mr. President, was waited until the polls closed in all of America before you started accepting the presidency. Not only that, you have veterans, mothers, fathers, grandparents, and people ready for a change voting for you all the way up here, above the Arctic Circle, where our only neighbors are the three thousand caribou four miles out of town, and the only way in or out is via a 747 passenger jet for six hundred bucks. Our suburbs consist of barren tundra and frozen lakes, rivers and oceans. We commute to and from work in everything from a boat in the summer, to bush planes, snowmachines and 4 wheeled ATV’s in the winter.

Caribou on front
When I look out my window at the Post Office, this is what I see

I won’t say if I voted for you President Obama, or Senator McCain, but I will say that with Governor Sarah Palin as the VP candidate for the Republican party, Alaska was finally looked at as more than just a cold state full of Eskimo’s and oil. We do have oil, we have natural gas, and we have natural resources vital to America. Possibly, we, in Alaska, need to state to the oil companies, “I’m sorry, we don’t ship outside ALASKA.” But, we are a part of a union, one created for the people, by the people and of the people, our One Nation under God.

We want to share our resources with you; we want to be a part of your Change. We need to be a part of this change! We need this change more than anyone else. You see, my gas costs me $7.30 per gallon and my heating oil costs me $6.36 per gallon. I have no trees I can cut down to heat my home, so, its imperative for me and my family that you keeps your promise, and you understand that we, even way up here above the Arctic Circle, are still a part of the United States. Our Alaskan soldiers are fighting an American war, our oil is being refined in California, our Copper River Salmon is being eaten all over, and our ANWR is being fought over in D.C.

Again, congratulations President Elect Barack Obama and VP Joe Biden. Please keep ALL American’s in mind, especially those who pay the highest energy prices in your nation.

Quyaana, Taikuu Nalagniluqtusi! Thank you for your time...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Kidney for sale...

I have a kidney for sale. I wanted to save it for my sister, who may need it with her IGA nethropathy, but she'll just have to be put on the back burner. Plus she owes me money, so that plays a large factor as well.

Anyway, so, this kidney, its normal sized, only used for thirty one years. Does really well in its current conditions. I have insulated it with the worlds best insulation, and I have actually over insulated it, seeing as though there is probably about fifteen pounds of the stuff right near where the kidney lies. It performs well, there has been no abuse to it, it only has to flush out certain toxins, and really I've only asked it to work extra hard probably ten or so times in its lifetime. I believe it has the potential to last its new owner another sixty years, providing the new owner takes as good of care as I did. The only thing is that we'll have to harvest it. Its ready now, available within 24 hours of payment, providing there is a surgeon who is able to perform the operation. Contact me if you're interested.


Oh, so here is a picture of why we need to sell, sell, sell...other than that the stock market is crashing and Auntie Fannie and Uncle Freddie are in a crisis...

gas rape smaller

P.S. my gas tank actually holds over 18 gallons of gas. I try to spend less then $150 when I purchase gas. I really had an empty tank, so it cost me $152.59...